P H A S E IV
Today's Big Ideas & Your Daily Checklist
Day 27 Theme
In The Love & Relationship Solution, we introduced you to the significance of the people you surround yourself with, including how to heal damaged relationships and make your family and friends the most satisfying part of your life.
Material Meaning
“Meaning doesn’t lie in things. Meaning lies in us. When we attach value to things that aren’t love-the money, the car, the house, the prestige-we are loving things that can’t love us back. We are searching for meaning in the meaningless. Money, of itself, means nothing. Material things, of themselves, mean nothing. It's not that they’re bad. It’s that they’re nothing.” ~Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
We absolutely love this quote because it perfectly embodies today’s solution. Love and relationships bring value and meaning to our lives, not material things. And when we don’t have value or meaning in our lives, there is a void.
Excessive drinking, and all addiction, is at some level a substitute for love and an attempt to fill this void. To cut back or quit drinking, and to thrive in sobriety, you need to develop and maintain relationships with your friends and family that are positive and nurturing, or you will eventually return to drinking. It's that simple.
Think back to The Sobriety System once again. Your desired outcomes are ultimately tied to your core values, and love is one of those core values-especially self-love. So, today, we invite you to return to love and build stronger relationships in your life. You will be glad you did.
Your Greatest Regrets
In the end, all you will care about are the relationships in your life-who loved you and who you loved-not how much money you made, what promotions you got, or what neighborhood you lived in. In order to thrive in sobriety, you must look closely at the people you have chosen to surround yourself with and begin to pay attention to the people you wish to spend more time with. Problem drinking eventually leads to isolation and loneliness, and is a substitute for what is missing in your life that you really want-authentic and healthy relationships with others. Having regrets might make you feel vulnerable, but being vulnerable does NOT mean that you are weak or result in you not being accepted. Rather, vulnerability will aid you in creating meaningful connections that drinking has kept from you.
The Confidence Killer
Many of your messes might exist because of broken agreements at work, at home, with loved ones, with strangers, and most importantly, with yourself. Broken agreements dramatically affect your life. In every agreement you make, you are also making one to yourself. When you learn to keep most of your agreements you gain trust, build self-confidence and self-esteem, and have greater clarity, focus, and energy.
UPDATE - Day 1 Checklist
Day 27 Action Steps
Use the questions provided and write your answers in your journal.
The "problem drinker you" and the "sober you" are two identities at odds with each other, resulting in an internal struggle for control of your thoughts, beliefs, emotions, feelings, and actions. They continuously sabotage each other’s efforts. Listen to the Merge Meditation we provide for you here to help you merge your "problem drinker" identity and your "sober you" identity, and release any internal conflict you may be feeling.
Likely, any relationships on your list from Action Step #3 are a result of broken agreements. Write down any big or small broken agreements you have made to yourself or to others in your journal. Be sure to add the overall impact these broken agreements have had on your life. Share some of your broken agreements in today's forum at 
One of the easiest ways to change who you are is to change who you surround yourself with. Write down every person you spend time with and those you wish you spent time with. Include personal and professional relationships, along with anyone you wish you saw more of. Then rank them using the ranking system provided for you in the book. As much as possible, you should avoid spending time with anyone who has a total score of 6 or less.30-Day Search Engine
Daily Bonus Content
To read more about Bronnie Ware’s experience and the top five regrets of the dying, see www.ariseindiaforum.org.
See Deepak Chopra and David Simon, Freedom from Addiction: The Chopra Center Method for Overcoming Destructive Habits (Deerfield Beach, FL: Health Communications, 2007). www.Amazon.com.
Glenn Plaskin, “Playboy Interview: Anthony (Tony) Robbins,” Awaken.com, August 17, 2013.
Alicia Dennis, “Tim McGraw: ‘I Feel Better Than Ever,’” People, February 11, 2013, www.Amazon.com.
Swayze and Niemi, Time of My Life. www.Amazon.com.
Kathy Ehrich Dowd, “Michael J. Fox: I Was ‘Drinking Heavily’ Following Parkinson’s Diagnosis,” People.com, September 26, 2013.
Lawton Ursrey, “The Fastest Way to Life Success: Vulnerability,” Forbes.com, July 20, 2014.
To read more quotes from Werner Erhard, see wernererhardquotes.wordpress.com.
Rob Lowe, Stories I Only Tell My Friends (New York: Henry Holt, 2011). www.Amazon.com.
To read more about Naomi Campbell, see Louise Gannon, “‘I Didn’t Think I Would Make It to 40. I’m Not Proud of What I’ve Done,’ Naomi Campbell on Her Regrets,” Mailonline.com, last modified March 21, 2010.
For more quotes by Anthony Robbins, see www.goodreads.com.
